This Sunday is my very first ever Mother’s Day since Alaska has been earth side. I know a lot of people roll their eyes at another commercial-money-making-celebration, but screw that negativity because I’m so FRIGGEN EXCITED! I’m excited to be celebrating my new role in this world, becoming a Mama has been my greatest achievement and has totally filled my heart with an abundance of love I didn’t know was possible. I’m so proud to still be here, alive, semi dressed and rocking this new motherhood gig with my head almost firmly screwed on!!!
BUT I’m not going to lie, there’s been “mama-moments” that make me laugh even when I feel like bawling my eyes out! Here’s a list that we women go through that totally make us ” MUM-AS-FUCK”.
Competing in motherhood like you’re in the god-damn-olympics. No wonder we’re all bloody tired, we all do it, don’t lie! You feel guilty ALLL THE TIMEEE cos your baby is bottle fed, breast fed, under weight, over weight, crawling too early, not crawling enough, co sleeping, sleeping in their own bed, over dressed, under dressed, eating packet foods, eating home made. God help us if someone sees us doing “the wrong thing” We can’t bloody win #insertEYEROLL!
Baby wipes are your best friend. You use them for ERRYYYTHANG! Wiping the car dash, wiping the couch down, wiping dirty kids faces. I may or may not have used them on my own bum too!
A random kid starts crying so your boobs freak the eff out and start leaking like mad. It’s usually when you’ve forgotten the breast pads and you’re standing in the supermarket or at the petrol pump- of course it’s when your leaking boobs are on show for the world to see.
Having post baby sex for the first time is scary assss fuckkkk! A not so mini human exited your vagina, of course it’s gonna make you squirm thinking about it! You start thinking when the time is near, maybe if you keep your eyes closed long enough at bedtime, he might not even see me & we can put it off for another night or five. At the end of the day it’s totally fine and you’re super glad it’s over and done with but that lead up in your head is crazyyyy painful ahaha Alaska will only have one sibling at this rate!!!!
You spend money on your kids like there’s no end to that money tree, yet when it comes to buying for YOU, you pretty much have a heart attack when you look at price tags. ABANDON CART, ABANDON CART!!! You most likely have a million products in carts waiting to purchase online, but let’s be real, you’re never going to buy!
You eat your dinner like a pig in a trough in record time because you know your kid will want to be held right then and there!
You can wipe away drool and boogers with your hand without being grossed out. Once a upon a time that shit would have made you dry reach!
Making the bed was a luxury thing of the past! When you do get around to making it, with fresh sheets as well, you send a photo to your hubby asking for gratitude, a trophy or a bloody medal for your amazing efforts!
You whinge and whine mainly in your head on the daily about the littlest things, even though you know what ever it is, is really not that bad. And at the end of the day you finally fall into bed and think how lucky AS FUCK you are to be a Mama at all and wouldn’t change it for the world!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mamas, Mamas to be and to our future mamas who we are sending baby dust to in bucket loads!!!
Follow on Instagram @MissKyreeLoves for more shits & giggles xxx