Isn’t it funny how when you’re pregnant, everyone around you seems to say the “wrong things”!?! It might just be your raging hormones (mine rage on the daily) but as soon as you announce you’re growing a life, every woman will overwhelm you with their “correct, right, damn-straight-perfect”opinions. I get that it’s a seriously tough gig at times, BUT here’s FIVE things NOT to say to another momma-to-be. So you don’t scare and confuse the absolute crapola out of us.
1. Don’t tell her “she’s looking fat”. Yeh ok, we are putting on weight. I’m no genius, but I think it’s because we’re growing a life inside our bodies? You know, two legs, a giant head and all that fluid floating around? Possibly the reason for stacking on those kilos I reckon (no shit Sherlock). Do people expect us to stay thin as sticks and just grow a basketball on our fronts? Seriously people, stay away from the “larger than life” comments because we don’t need to be reminded that our waist is exploding on the daily. If we want to enjoy that extra Tim-Tam while baby kicks our ribs every five minutes, THEN BLOODY WELL LET US.
2. Don’t put a downer on the “Birth”. Our choices about the birth process, is just that. OUR CHOICES. Don’t throw in your two cents about what’s the “right way and wrong way”. Because lets face it, every single pregnancy that has ever graced this earth has ended in a different labour experience. If we want to go natural then all the power to us, if we want to have the drugs to take the pain away, then don’t you dare judge. Just because you may have “enjoyed your natural labour” don’t judge someone else who was “traumatised” by theirs.
3. Don’t go on about how your “home won’t be the same again”. Yeh, Yeh, we get that our homes will change drastically and we are fully aware that it will be a messy, grubby, hair pulling out existence at times. But you really don’t need to bang on about it every chance you get. Like you’re trying to rub it in our faces that our lounges will always be covered in poop for the rest of our miserable lives. Every home environment is different in so many ways, so don’t assume our parenting experience or our state of home will be identical to yours.
4. Don’t judge “boob vs bottle”. Again, not everyone has the same beliefs as you do about breast vs bottle feeding, so be careful when you discuss this around new mums. How a mum feeds her baby is HER choice- not yours to put a damper on with a negative opinion. Don’t assume you know “everything there is to know” about feeding, just because you’ve been a parent for all of five minutes or even a decade. leave your opinions at the door when you see a friend, and support and encourage our decisions.
5. Don’t take the piss out of a “baby name choice!” If parents choose to announce their baby name to you BEFORE the baby is born, and you really don’t like it, then bite your bloody tongue and say nothing. SAY NOTHINGGGG. Parents can spend endless hours deciding over a name choice, they don’t need negative nancy to come up with a stupid nick-name, saying it sounds like a stripper or to hear that you don’t approve. Mum and Dad-to-be are excited about the name choice, and they have every right to be! It’s not your baby after all, so your opinion on the name can go stick it!
Now you are aware of the “Rules & Regs”, lets all just focus on being positive, kind, supportive and loving towards mums who are tirelessly growing a wee human. Can someone pass me that Tim-Tam now please? xxx